I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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