Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am midnight drunk by noon
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
