dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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