is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
