P.S. I can't hear my feet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
