I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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