dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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