I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
