We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She announced her abortion via fbk
high people should be assigned attendants
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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