Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
