i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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