Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
two words...techno handjob
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
