So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
