hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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