He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
