Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
