She is in my trunk
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
