I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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