I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
