She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
