didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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