I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
