Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
