I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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