So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
