I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
