there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
