Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
