Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
