I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
