had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
