Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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