I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
