Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
