it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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