Cold hands, warm shart.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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