i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
