he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
