No, drunk sperm still make babies.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
