how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
