Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
