Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
