as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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