I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
