We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
