well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
