p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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