Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
