At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you still have your period?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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