She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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